The Smartt View

I’m an addict.  I don’t mean I “struggle” or I’m sometimes “weak.”  No.  I mean, I am a straight up ADDICT.  Like all addicts, I have lied, dug through trash, cried, made promises to myself, gone through rampant times of depression and agony, and done some of the most inappropriate things on the face of the earth…all for my drug of choice.  Why?  Because that’s what addicts do. Friends, let me be clear.  When it comes to addiction, there’s nothing new under the sun.  We all pretty much do the same destructive things in the same destructive order and always resulting in the same destructive outcomes.  But we keep going full bore, headlong into disaster.  I know.  It’s insanity.  I get it.

On June 12th of this year, something happened.  I can’t describe it as anything less than divine intervention.  I literally grabbed my phone that day and before I had a chance to change my mind, I made a video confessing my addiction and my desire to make a massive change.  I posted that video on my FB author page.  That was the beginning of something beautiful.  Confession.  No more hiding.  All out in the open.  I cannot describe the FREEDOM of  posting that 3-minute video.  Confessing it to God.  To others.  Even to people I don’t know.  And not caring any more.  Yeah.  That was the best part.  Not caring.  Not caring if people thought me weak or horrible or out of control or depraved. The only way I could find true healing was to not care any more.

I’m a sugar addict and it was literally killing me.  Like all addicts, I’m embarrassed of the things I’ve done.  I’ve eaten out of the trash can.  I’ve hidden food.  Lied about food.  I’ve eaten in the bathroom so nobody would see me.  I’ve stuffed myself with sugar until depression overtook me with such fervor that I didn’t want to leave the house.  I’ve cried and tried harder.  I’ve hurt and wailed.  I’ve asked for seat belt extenders on airplanes.  I’ve gone through drive-thru lanes at inappropriate times of the day, all the while telling myself not to do it…but doing it anyway.  Because that’s what addicts do.  They keep doing the most irrational sinful thing on the planet…all the while knowing the end result will be misery.  Absolute misery.

I can’t say exactly what happened on June 12th.  I know this.  I haven’t been the same since that day.  I have not eaten a dessert, candy, soda, or any of my drugs of choice since that day.  I haven’t gone through a drive-thru to get a milkshake.  I haven’t eaten ice cream or birthday cake or a brownie.  I can’t explain it all.  That day I was at ROCK BOTTOM and rock bottom is where God does some of His best work.  His most beautiful work.   I cried on the video, saying I was going off sugar the way an alcoholic goes off drinking.  It had to be that way.  After decades of addiction, I knew it.  It was the only way to live free.

I’m comforted by these words, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” (I Peter 5:5)  Thank you, God.  Thank you.  Thank you that my human frame was so eaten up with struggle and grief and dysfunction, yet you love me.  Oh, how you love me!  How could I ever look on another human being with disdain and superiority?  It cannot be.  Only the Savior is good.  Romans 3:23, “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.”  ALL.  None righteous.  No, not one.  An equal playing field of dysfunction and error and sin…and a great need for a Savior.

Are you an alcoholic?  A drug addict?  Porn addict?  Sex addict?  Materialist?  Filled with rage?  Angry parent?  Sugar addict?  Control freak?  Tell someone.  Tell a group of people.  Don’t be embarrassed to seek help.  Jesus died for you.  He paid for all the nastiness you and I have ever done.  He won the battle because He knew full well we couldn’t.  He rose again and lives in victory…even though we’ve been living in defeat.  Oh, and he sees you, friend.  Right now.  Where you are.  He sees you.  He’s not afraid of your past or your present.  He’s ready to forgive and cleanse (I John 1:9) and make some beautiful changes you can’t make on your own.  Yes.  He knows you’re at rock bottom.  And believe it or not, rock bottom is exactly where He meets people…people like you…people like me.

http://www.lisasmartt.com  FB author page:  https://www.facebook.com/lisasmarttbooks/